Sunday morning rants

Life can change in an instant. We all know that. But what would you do????

You wake up to the sun shining thru cracked mini blinds as the hard hospital chair pinches your back in all the wrong places. The beeps of machines and the whirl of ventilators brings you crashing back to reality. You get up cross the room, grasp the hand of your loved one, and push back the damp hair stuck the sweaty forehead. Your fingers travel down the nose and onto the lips, before settling on the cheeks giving them a soft brush with the palm of your hand as a nurses shoes squeak into the room. She fiddles with the liquid feeding that is snaking into your nose keeping you alive. You havent stirred in days, the doctors pronounced you brain dead hours ago. You were an organ donor, you had an advance directive, you never wanted to live off machines, never wanted to be fed by a tube shoved down your nose. You always said, "When i turn down a good steak, letme go." We made important decisions together, live and death decisions, decisions that no one will now pay any attention too. We had been together for over a decade. We had a home togehter, children together, a life together. We were planning a vacation, starting a business, enjoying just being a family, being in love, having it all.

But all those dreams died when your brain did. As a same sex couple we are not recognized by the government. I have no say so in your health decisions, so instead of allowing me to honor your wishes, the doctors do what others want, people who had no clue who you were. Our children, not mine, they will more than likely be given to your family. Remember them? The ones who turned their backs on you when you announced you were gay. The house? Not mine either. We cant own property together. I will loose that too. The life insurance? Not mine. It will likely also go to your parents, the same people who threw you out on your ass when you decided not to play by their rules.

Everything we worked for, this life we had built together....Gone, just because we are of the same sex. Just because we live this "Life" that so many people dont, or wont choose to understand. There is so much hate and evil in the world. How is love in any capacity wrong. There are so many children in foster care who need homes, where they are protected, safe, and loved. But only if the parents are of the opposite sex. We wouldnt want them confused, rather neglected, starved for attention , and turned out when they turn 18.

Heaven forbid people use the word "marriage." The word holds so much ammunition. So the bible says " a marriage is between a man and a woman." The bible also says "do not judge less you be judged." Judgung is gods job, not mans. God asks us to love one another.

I was raised in the Church of Christ. I never knew anyone who was gay growing up. I dont have any close "gay" friends, but i do have aquantances who are. I was raised by parents who allowed me to find the world as i chose, who knew i was smart enough to make my own mind up. I quit the church because we had to many conflicting views. But i still believe in god. I have a more spiritual relationship now than i ever had just filling a pew. I believe in a loving god, who wants us all to be kind to one another. But i also believe in a strict god who doles out his punishments. But that is HIS job, not mine. And i will raise my son that way.....

Anyway, thats how i feel..... Thats what is on my mind today