In Memory of LP

I am not gonna cry, I have been so sad over you for too long; I am not gonna get mad, I have been pissed at you for too long. I am only going to remember you, with fondness, and celebrate your life and how you changed mine.

It's over...The constant dread I felt in the pit of my stomach every time i opened the DNJ, scimming the obits waiting to see your name....But instead Dusty text me and told me the news. You were dead. Some people will be shocked. I was not. As a member of the medical community here in the 'boro, and having personally taken care of you numerous times over the past few years, i knew it was inevitable. But it still breaks my heart.

I remember the first time I really saw you. Jules and i were sitting in the gym at Central getting our homeroom assignments for the eigth grade. I had seen you around the year before, but not really taken much notice. It seemed like they were calling every popular guy in schoolfor minischool 8 and when they called my name i was so excited. There was a shortage of lockers that year, and I was chosen to share one, with you.
We kind of floated around each other for a few months, Juli and I were obsessed with the New Kids and the Beatles and couldnt think of much else. But when my home life took a nosedive it was you who pulled me out.
The year before my youngest brother Cody, who was 11 months at the time was diagnosed with Diabetes. I was 13 and didnt know what was going on. I had no clue what Diabetes was, and had never met another human being who was diabetic. The next year was a blur of learning to stick fingers, give shots, and watch out for signs of low blood sugar. One night while i was babysitting he got really low and started to have a seisure, I freaked and called an ambulance, and wasnt the same for quite some time. I wanted to kill myself, thinking that i had almost killed my brother. I wanted a way out, or at least someone who understood what my life was turning into.
I remember it very clearly. We were sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch. I had my usual cold ramen noodles, but that day I had a treat, a piece of birthday cake. I turned to you and asked if you wanted some and you said the most meaningful thing my 14 year old ears had ever heard. "No I cant, i am diabetic." I told you my brother was, we talked a bit, and that was it. I played it off like it was no big deal, but in reality, that is one of the moments that changed my life.
We were never really that close, not best friends or anything, we never dated, but for so long I loved you from afar. You meant the world to me in a way no one else ever had, or has since. You gave me Hope. You showed me that my brother could be normal, he could play football, he could have good grades, he could be popular and get the girl, and all the normal things i was afraid he would never do.
We floated around each other over the next 10-15 years, knowing the same people, hanging out occasionally, always saying hi when we passed in a bar. Then your dad had a heart attack, and while i was his primary nurse we talked quite a bit whea you came to see him. I did tell you one of those nights how you changed my life. How i would have never considered nursing if it werent for you and my brother and dad and grandfather. You said thanks, and that was the end of that.
Your health deteriorated, and i got mad, and sad, and cried and asked why. What a waste. I will say a prayer for you and your family. I will pray that you are finally at peace and that you can finally do all that you were unable to do here on earth. I will always thank you for changing me life, and helping me become the person i am today. You will always be the first guy i ever loved; and i will always love you. But i am at peace now.....Goodbye my friend