Disney-isms

So, sitting around last night at yet ANOTHER, christmas function, we ladies got to chattin about Disney, our recent trips and trips we are planning. This seems to be the pinnacle of mom talk, when are you going, where are you staying, are you getting the dining plan? I find it humorous, like a mom version of Gossip Girl. Anywho. it got me to thinking and reminiscing about the trip we took in September. I will share with you a few topics i rememner........

-The year of a thousand ass cheeks.... why is it that every foreigner, yeah i am talking to you specifically Germany, come over here and literally SHOW THEIR ASS. I know Americans are very prude when it comes to what we show, (we really are, I couldnt believe how many nipples i saw in London) , but come on people.....These shorts were cut up to there, and pulled down to here , good lord, spare our childrens eyes

-The year of a thousand ass whoopins.....kids, sun, long days, breakdowns, not listening. I am not a good mom, i dont know how many times i asked Coen if he wanted a disney style ass whooping....

-Sugar, a moms best friend.....So normally i try to not give Coen too much sugar, but Disney was an exception. On every street corner is a store with candy of somesort, and nothing will sooth an ovetired overstressed child like sugar. And no candy was more available than the gigantic Goofy sugar machines. It resembled a soda fountain, but instead of cokes and Dr Perppers you chose from different flavors of sugar. A pixie stix addicts wet dream,,,,Refillable plastic tubes of Root Beer flavored yumminess

-I paid $80 a person to get into this place and you can only afford to pay 1 freakin Mickey Mouse per park, yeah right.

-"Do you people get off on parading these characters out for a few minutes and yanking them back while children stand here and cry," or more calmly referred to as, Why Winnie the Pooh has more handlers than the Jonas Bros

-Magic express rocks, except when you expect to get your luggage on time. Me to front desk, "Hi, This is my 3rd call, we arrived at 4pm and it is now 11pm, and i was just wondering when my luggage was gonna get to my room, and who exactly i needed to call to change my bed because my son pissed in it because his bedtime pullups are IN MY LUGGAGE"

And my favorite memory of Disney, the one thing i couldnt even explain....... "Mommy what is that bat doing?"?" How do you say, he is giving himself a blowjob honey in Disney???